From inside. A trip through complicated situations.

It’s a cloudy day. A few sunrays try to squeeze in. In the town's square, it seems that there's the most popular concert in the "terreta". There's a big crowd, they're having a good time and beer is everywhere. The three golden rules to any party. We have an audience, a stage and a band ready to perform live. What you don't know is that a) the band is not today's main course and b) there's no concert scheduled. In fact, this crowded mass, with their flags, noise and laughter, are waiting for something else. A cycling team, with the best cyclists from all around the world that have come here to take part in one of the most important dates in the international women's cycling calendar: the Tour of Flanders.

The bike's handlebars show the difficulties we have to- or at least try- to overcome in this race, 15 climbs and 8 sections of pavé. We're at the very beginning, a wide long paved street. The starting shot is 10 minutes away. I'm pretending to understand the Flemish-speaking man in charge of animating this event. But I'm wondering what I'm doing here?

I've spent 14 years cycling at a competitive level with many rewards: discipline, work, effort, smiles, tears, good and bad times. It's been a long journey, lasting more than a decade, and for my 20-year-old self it feels -and in some ways is- a lifetime. This route stopped in Oudenaarde. The Tour of Flanders, a competition in which many cyclists would like to take part, be with the best in the world, fulfil a dream. And as much as for the others, for me it always had been, to be able to compete alongside figures like Marianne Vos.

But to every destination there's a road. And like every adventure, the journey to it has several stops, which two-thirds will be unpleasant. But thanks to your experiences, you'll be able to make a pleasant third and, surpassing all them, you made the journey. It's like going to work by public bus in a rainy place. The first day you may forget your umbrella and get wet and the bus stop. The second day you'll remember your umbrella, but you may be too near to the road and get splashed by a passing car. The third day you won't forget it and you'll remember to stay away from the road, and finally, get dry to work.

The same thing happens when you’re trying to do any goal. You have to make all the stops to reach the end, and as we’ve already seen, not all the way will be easy. The more difficult and far this destination is, the longer the journey will be and, so, the more stops you must make. And when you finally reach your end stop, you'll realize that this whole trip will have helped you to grow personally (physically, mentally and emotionally) and it will serve you for other trips with completely different destinations.

When you arrive at a great stop, a great date, such as the Tour of Flanders, all you have to do is enjoy the moment. However, it’s not always easy to do so. As explained in the entry is it real?, nothing is as it seems. Probably anyone thinks that being in this great competition or getting so far at some point in our lives is all joy, happiness or being lucky. And it is, in some way, but at the same time it’s not. It depends on many factors. You have to take the individual into account - each person is different - the story he/she hides and at which moment he/she finds himself. You may feel all these things, but at the same time other emotions can inhibit or dampen most of the previous ones.

The pressure that can be put on oneself is brutal, especially in high performance scenarios and even more in these ages belonging to an important stage of personal development. There are many thoughts in the form of conversation that are held day by day. When you’re in a situation where you have to respond to many stimuli, reach all places and also do it properly because otherwise it will have consequences, most mental health conversations are negative, self-destructive; and these thoughts end up exploding our mind. And like a balloon, as we add water, the pressure increases and, if nothing is done about it, it just explodes. During a period of high pressure, of suffering, the mind gradually fills with water, leaving less air space. Air space used to mean to know how to appreciate moments and enjoy the great stops. And when these things happen, because they happen, and the mind is flooded, you simply make the stops because you have to do them, without enjoying them properly.

When you start traveling without purpose and doing the stops because yes, because it’s the right thing to do and because you’ve always done it (without any sense), you may start to approach your destination, at the end of everything. Because when the purpose is lost, the eager is lost too. And without excitement, there is no meaning and, if we do things without meaning, we lose everything. And unexpectedly ... BOOM! Surprise, surprise, a balloon with too much water ends up exploding, just like our mind. And here is our arrival, an ending that is far from pleasant. Because when you start traveling with nothing, without purpose, the trip ends, and you arrive to the end stop.

It’s an example of how something long and important you were doing during your years can end if you exceed your personal limits. It can end in many ways, of course, but unfortunately this is a possible end and, in addition, it’s a candidate to go out because of the chosen way. And to change the end, it’s important to know oneself, listen, take care, respect personal limits and above all, love oneself. After all, you will be with yourself 24/7. You have to try to be your best friend, overcome bad times and encourage yourself during these. Knowing how to say enough. It's complicated.

It’s where the role of psychologists comes in. You may think "I already know, I don't know why you introduce them as if they were unknown." Well, for many people they are and, in some places, it’s frowned upon to visit one. They can help you during this process or on long journeys where there’re many stops. They’re the guides par excellence. They treat mental health, just like a dentist fixes your teeth. With a psychologist as a co-pilot you’ll travel more at ease, calmer and with more success to your goal. Many people - including myself - offer them a seat in the last part of the road, where our mind begins to flood, because is when you really realize that you have a problem. If you can invite him from the beginning, much better. You’ll surely avoid "BOOM!" destinations, and you can have a "goodbye, I have enjoyed a lot, it has been a pleasure, but I have decided that this is the end and it’s as far as I go" and, in addition, the trip will be longer, easier, more pleasant and much more successful.

These high-pressure exploding ends of the road are very hard. But there are not negative. I feel sorry for having finished this wonderful journey in this way and not having enjoyed the last stops - or at least, as they deserved -, which were the best of the entire journey. But I feel lucky because these moments made me who I am today. Thanks to it, I have tools useful for every day, for future situations and especially when I’m supposed to deal with tough situations. Unfortunately, the procedure to acquire them can be terrible and, if this is your case or you are in a similar situation, I have good news for you: however difficult it may seem, there’s always light at the end of the tunnel. And when you find it, you'll be much more than before.

After all, life is like a roller coaster: the climbs are problematic, but you can’t have falls without going up first. The speed you achieve will power the rest of your journey, the joy of overcoming the worst. The goal is to reach the top to enjoy the fall; solve the problems and not try to escape from them. Because wherever you go and whatever you do, you’ll find problems, this is life.  Sometimes we’re afraid of fighting them and we tend to judge them, thinking that we shouldn’t have them or even we deny having them at all. But as the famous Carl Jung said "what resists, persists". So, stop trying to avoid them and start dealing with the ones you like, because if you don't, they’ll continue being there. A life of constant flight is not life, it would be a roller coaster without slope, something that doesn’t exist because the wagon wouldn’t advance.

One of the most important rules of life is that whatever your problem is, moving forward is the solution. Go straight for it, solve it and make sure that the process carried out is a lesson for future occasions. Because problems and complicated moments are the motor of our life, how we address our troubles will determine our personal growth.  Because thanks to the hard stages, we experience the best days, full of joy, happiness and change. And the biggest changes in our lives are followed by the worst moments. The blacker the hole you left, the greater the change will be. And you’ll find things you never expect. It may be true what they say that when one door is closed, another one opens. But be careful, because if you overlook your problems, you won’t close any door at all; you’ll leave them all open and you won’t open any new other ones.